The secret of a good relationship


obody has learned about having a good relationship. Actually, we all do something. Sometimes this works very well and at other times it does not work for a meter. There is no perfect formula, but these seven pillars can help you.

Every relationship is different and has different needs. Yet there are basic elements that can be found in happy love relationships. According to the American psychologist John Gottman , these are the seven pillars for a good relationship.

Know each other

The most important events in your life, biggest dream and favorite dish. Happy couples know each other’s history and know what the other person thinks is important. Because of this knowledge you can respond well to each other. You know how to put a smile on each other’s face, but also when the other person needs space.

Respect and affection

According to John Gottman, showing respect and affection are the most important elements for a happy relationship . This does not mean that you always agree with each other, but that you respect each other’s opinion. Everyone quarrels : also a happy couple. The difference is only that strong couples are able to prevent conflicts from getting out of hand. Respect is the basis and ensures that you do not exceed each other’s boundaries.

Have contact with each other

Has the grind slipped in? Do you live together, but do you live alongside each other? Keeping real contact with each other is therefore extremely important. All those fairy tales are fun, but far from realistic. You really do not have to dine romantically every day to live happily ever after. It is often the small things that count, such as genuine interest. For example by asking how it goes at work, making jokes and staying intimate.

Attach value to your partner’s opinion

According to the fourth pillar, it is important to value the opinion of our partner. It is therefore good to be influenced by your partner. This does not mean that you do everything the other wants, but that you take the other person seriously. Men seem to have more trouble with this than women, with the result that the relationship breaks down more quickly.

At the end of the day we are all influenced by the people we deal with. It is therefore normal that we are also influenced by our partner, but also important. We hereby show that we appreciate the opinion of the other person.

Solve problems

The good thing about a relationship is that you share a lot together. All beautiful things, but also problems. The fifth pillar is about solving problems. In a good relationship it is important to solve problems together. Whether it is a dispute with each other or other conflicts. Together it is easier than alone.

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